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*Driving home from church Sunday morning

Zach: “Some people don’t disagree with beliefs, they just disagree about what they ‘feel’ and there is no truth behind it.”

Josiah: “Yeah, people just say what they ‘feel’ and get louder and more passionate.”

Tim: “You kids saw a living illustration of Uncle Danny’s sermon last Thursday night at our Zoom Bible study.”

 

Pastor Danny’s Theology of Disagreement series has provided regular commentary in the Little household. Our family has been part of a Zoom Bible study which has a lot of theological diversity. Last week Pastor Danny preached on the importance of pursuing truth, and we discussed how some within the Bible study are not really interested in truth. The gospel unites us and divides us. The dividing part is hard, particularly if it is someone close to us, even more so when it is family.

When is disassociation necessary or even required? Answering this question has been a focal point in the Little household since May when my lesbian sister began love-bombing my children. I could see the confusion in their minds. She then began joining our family Bible study, but instead of coming to learn, she cast doubt on the authority of the Bible and undermined my authority as father. One would not think that Proverbs would be such a divisive Bible study. Instead of seeking the author’s meaning of the passage, she cast doubt upon the text being comprehensible at all, “How can you really know what that word means?” Instead of leaning into the wisdom of parents and authorities (Prov 1:5, 8, 10; 2:1), doubt was cast upon such authorities, “When I was growing up, I was never allowed to think for myself.” This lie implied that other members in the Bible study (including my children) aren’t thinking for themselves either and need to cast off their restraining teachers (me) and come to their own conclusions (apart from the Bible). Our disagreements were so strong that they jeopardized our ability to fellowship. Consider the quote which Pastor Danny included in the sermon handout from this week,

“Sometimes, however, a difference is sufficiently serious that it cannot be ignored. When that happens, conflict becomes inevitable at some level. Under such circumstances, greater harmony and outward unity may be maintained by separate organization” (Bauder, Spectrum of Evangelicalism, 37).

Eventually, it became clear that she denied the gospel itself. Climactically, she disavowed the God of the Old Testament. I explained that we seem to serve different gods, and she agreed. The die was cast.

At this point, I determined disassociation was required. As Kevin Bauder wrote,

“Where the gospel is denied, no such unity exists. Even the most minimal Christian unity depends on common belief in the gospel” (Bauder, Spectrum of Evangelicalism, 23).

She constantly asked to study love, so I agreed, and we worked through Deuteronomy 6:4–11, 7, 8:1–5; 13; Luke 14:25–27. We concluded with an analysis of the “scoffer” texts in Proverbs. Biblical love places love for God above family. If love for family rivals love for God, Jesus demanded hatred of family (Luke 14). Because she disavowed the God of the Old Testament and sought to lead participants to worship a god of her making, disassociation was required. It went over about as well as you would expect. But instead of appealing to some other biblical principle, some participants appealed to emotion, ad hominems, and false analogies. Hence, as we drove home from church, the conversation above ensued.

Disassociation is difficult. Nobody wants to do it. It becomes a matter of faith. You don’t know how things will work out. You love this person and, presumably, disassociating from them removes a gospel witness from their lives. It can be like walking in darkness (Isa 50:10). Instead of leaning on your own understanding and finding a way to make the Scriptures say what you want them to say (Isa 50:11), trust the Lord. Remember to love the Lord the most!