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There is a way we can maintain disagreements faithfully and there is a way that is unfaithful. Have you ever had a disagreement with someone, and it became the defining feature of the relationship? No matter how many times you interacted with them afterwards, the disagreement was always brought up some way or another? What we want to be concerned with is making sure that we do not let the argument spill over into every area of our fellowship unless it must. We want to be wary to not become unnecessarily divisive while maintaining the disagreement.

So, what are some things to consider in disagreements to build a proper expectation in dealing with them, and even in thinking about when to separate?

  1. Constancy: How often will I interact with the disagreement? This has to do with assessing how encompassing is this disagreement in your life. Is it going to often be brought up as a point of tension because your context forces you to interact with it? For instance, if I have determined that my coffee must be made a certain way, this will only be a source of tension amongst other individuals when we are making coffee. It will not affect us outside of that context. However, some disagreements will have a much more consistent role because they will have to be interacted with far more often. Assuming neither Paul nor Barnabas ever changed their stance, how often do you think this would have come up had John Mark gone with them? The constant reminder of their disagreement would have been with them every hour of every day.
  2. Intensity: How serious is the disagreement? What we know about Paul and Barnabas is that the disagreement was sharp. It was not something they were not willing to compromise on. In your disagreements, are you able to compromise on the debated view and its applications? Why or why not? In thinking about the first point, if you are constantly dealing with the argument, but it’s not that serious, it will be easier to ignore. However, not so easy if it is something held onto intensely.

These are just two things to think about out of a host of considerations. As always, we want to deal with disagreements faithfully, in a manner that is pleasing to God. And so even when it is something we view as possibly negative like separating or appropriately distancing ourselves, we can approach even this with wisdom.