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"Prove me, O LORD, and try me; test my heart and my mind."

~ Psalm 26:2

 

Have you ever peeled back a banana and discovered a Snickers bar?...or a sausage?...or orange slices?  Of course not!  That is because a banana has integrity.  That is, it is on the inside what the outside claims it to be or to contain.  When we see the bright yellow smiled-shaped peel of a banana, it always contains the actual substance of a banana.  It is as advertised.  There is not a discrepancy in what it projects, presents or claims to be from what it is in reality.  This is not because of anything inherent to the banana or accomplished by the banana, but it is the gracious work of God.

Psalm 26, for me, was a difficult psalm to read this week.  It was challenging and convicting.  I wondered if I, like David did, could honestly put the same words from pen to paper?  In the progression of my understanding in reading, rereading and meditating on what David is really saying here, I have humbly concluded that I could put the same words on paper with pen.  Let me explain.

My initial difficulty/conviction came because of my awareness of great and terrible innate (“in Nate”) sin.  Further meditation reminded me that I only have such awareness because of the revelation and conviction of the Holy Spirit, a gracious gift of God.

I had fears and doubts about the idea of asking God to prove, try and test me (v.2)…or considering asking God to vindicate me (v.1)…or making a claim of walking in integrity and faithfulness (v.1,3,11)…or trusting in the LORD without wavering (v.1).  Further meditation reminded me that David was a “man after God’s heart” (Acts 13:22), not a man of perfect obedience and behavior.  Despite numerous and grievous failures to obey (sin), the ultimate disposition of David’s heart was in keeping the steadfast love of the LORD before his eyes (v.3), hating falsehood, evil and wickedness (v.4-5), and loving the presence and glory of the LORD (v.8).  I too have this disposition of heart (not perfectly of course, but ultimately), because God has given me such a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26).

I bristled at the apparent boldness and brashness of David to make the claims and requests that he did with such certainty of the outcome.  Further meditation revealed to me that David was not boasting in himself or his works, but pleading with God to be gracious, to be just, to redeem (v.11).  David was not claiming an earned righteousness and thus an entitlement to gracious redemption; no, he is acknowledging complete dependence on grace that was first given to him that has led to a desire for and pursuit of a life of holiness. 

God is sovereign over salvation and sanctification, but I am responsible to walk in integrity.  It is only by his steadfast love (v.3) and grace (v.11) that I am able to do so.  Because of Jesus Christ (his person, work and word) I am transformed on the inside to be what I project, present and claim to be on the outside.  God graciously redeems and forgives in Jesus Christ when my integrity fails.

Like David, I stand on level ground and in the great assembly I will bless the LORD (v.12), because through Jesus I am vindicated (Romans 8:31-29)!  This is the means and motivation for my faithfulness.